why I haven't written lately + why I'm starting again
why i haven’t written lately…
and why i’m starting to again
I know it’s been a minute since I’ve written a post. There are a lot of reasons for that, some including:
I was busy planning a wedding
I was busy getting married
I was busy getting stem cell treatment
I was taking a sabbatical from everything
I was busy building (several) companies
I was tired of people asking me questions about lyme
The long story short: I was fatigued: emotionally and physically.
Also, being more in the public eye, I knew ~the public~ would find this blog, and I frankly didn’t feel like they needed or deserved to know about all the inner workings of my life. This blog was always for you guys, my friends (and even some I’ve made along the way), but I wasn’t about to open myself up to public scrutiny to a bunch of random sweaty tech bros. (Sorry not sorry.)
Now that the show and my life in tech has slowed down, I’ve had the unique opportunity to redefine what I want my life to look like. I’ve actually had a lot of opportunities to do that — that’s what Lyme will do to you. It forces you to place a magnifying lens to all areas in your life and prune out the things that aren’t serving you. Funny how that works.
But I’m grateful: most people don’t get the chance to redefine what fulfillment means in their lives, and I’m thankful for this season.
I’ve taken a step back from tech for a lot of reasons, and it’s honestly been the best thing for me. I’ve been building Honey & Vinegar, the brand — another story for another time — as well as consulting for other growing businesses. I’m working like crazy, but I’ve also never felt more fulfilled.
Now, the big question you’re all wondering about: how am I feeling?
Great Q. Kind of the same? Maybe a little better? I feel the stem cells working a bit, but they say wait 18 months to really see effects since I have neurological Lyme. I’ve been working out more which has been awesome and so freeing. I always loved working out. I’m giving myself grace for the first time in a long time. Or at least I try to.
Regardless, I know setting boundaries has helped immensely. I now know I can’t work the typical 50 (or even 40) hour workweek in a standard office. I no longer spend time with people who make me feel inadequate or an inconvenience because my body won’t allow me to do something, and let me tell you, it’s been a game changer.
For several years, I refused to let Lyme and my disabilities define me. But now, let’s be real here: they’re a part of who I am. It’s just a facet of who I am, and you know what? It’s okay. It makes me a kinder, less prideful, more empathetic human, and I’m no longer ashamed to call myself disabled, because it’s what I am. But you know what I also am? A wife, a daughter, a founder, a piano player, a traveler, a dog mom, and Vanderpump fangirl.
I’ve realized I still have lots of value to bring to companies and people regardless of how the bacteria in my body are feeling today. This is my new normal, and being around people who treat it as normal makes all the difference.
So why am I bringing back the blog now?
For the longest time, I felt like I had to separate my work and my personal life — almost to a fault. I also thought companies had certain tones and a specific place in the world, and people had another. But as I started H&V, I realized how dumb this was. Who wrote this rule that companies can’t be human and real? That CEOs need to always project an oddly specific persona? In my mind, companies are people and we’re all just humans trying to help other humans, so why set these strange precedents on how we use our voices?
Now, don’t get me wrong: I always have and always will promise to use my voice for good and not ill. I promise to not badmouth anyone — unless it’s a company knowingly putting toxic products in something and saying it’s not toxic. Get outta here with that; I’m here to protect u. Ok cool? Cool.
Honey & Vinegar is for the community, by the community, but I’ll keep telling my story and sharing recommendations along the way.
I hope by being who God has made me to truly be gives you permission to do the same. And hopefully, you’ll feel encouraged to pursue your best life wherever you are, no matter the cards life has dealt you.